Tuesday, 14 June 2011

Tear stained in the Dark

“Aaah! I want to scream” she said loudly to the wall, “I want to fucking scream”. Swinging round she threw herself onto her bed, it had been a stressful day and she needed a break, she wanted to break something but instead she cried. She didn’t know why but to her that’s how she let off steam, by crying. All the pent up anger and frustration came out in one burst, showering her lap in tears. After about an hour the tears had gone dry, she felt numb, like there was nothing inside, nothing that she could feel. She ached to be held, to have someone tell her it was alright, to say ‘Don’t worry, its ok everything is okay’ but there was no such person, because they did not exist. No one ever saw her cry, not one. She called it a sign of weakness, she was the strong one and as such she did not show weak emotions such as tears or fear. She would not and could not do that.

The house was empty when she left her safe haven, rooms left lifeless and silent. There was nothing to do, nothing left to say. She had told everyone around her to go, she didn’t need them; they didn’t want her either. She was just a lonely woman, with a tear stained face in the dark.


I did it


I did it
I have rid myself of you from my life
I know you may actually love me
And some how in your strange way care about me
Yet through all this I am not going to stay

I’ve left; I’ve gone.
I’m not going to hang around for you to come to your senses
Why should I?

I could fill this page with hateful stabbing words
But why, why waste my energy on someone like you?

I walked through the park on Monday,
Each step I was letting you go.
An angel came to me that day,
Its gentle hand helping me to move on,
I tied a ribbon to a tree,
With a wish for you
I wished for you to be happy and maybe find a love you deserve.
From that day
I have not looked back.

If you ever should read this
Yet that is very unlikely
I would have you know that through all this,
I won’t shut you out of my life
I just will never go back to being your lover.